Unplugging for Clarity: Taming Information Overload and Overwhelm

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How can parenting be influenced during times of distinct political and societal challenges? Welcome to Where Parents Talk. My name is Leanne Castellino.

Our guest today is a communications professional who provides strategic counsel to businesses and organizations across industries. Erin Neal is also a writer and a cultural strategist focused on exploring the intersection of culture, parenting, and politics.

Erin is also a mother of two, and she joins us today from Brossard, Quebec. Thank you so much for making the time.

Yeah, of course. My pleasure.

We are talking about something that certainly is on many, if not all, minds these days, and your work really sits at the heart of what we're talking about, the intersection of communication, culture, and parenting, in this case. So, Erin, when you look out at the current landscape, what concerns you the most? When we talk about those three themes.

I think the thing that comes to mind most often is just the general sense of overwhelm, I think, that people feel by it all.

We are constantly being bombarded with information, whether it is in news stories, what we're catching on television, what we're seeing on social media, that it can be very easy to feel overwhelmed by all of that information, which ultimately makes it difficult for us to process it and then also to be able to act meaningfully on it. So that's the. That's what I think my biggest concern is.

How do you go about addressing exactly that with your children?

Most recently, it has been focused on an intentional. Taking intentional steps back. So when we are constantly being flooded with information, where do we have opportunities to essentially dis.

Disconnect by turning off our televisions, disconnecting from our tablets, and kind of refocusing our energy and our attention into the things that bring us joy rather than the things that may trigger us or cause anxiety.

And that's particularly important, I think, for families because technology nowadays really kind of steals time away from us being able to engage and spend time together as a family. So when you disconnect, that creates the perfect opportunity for you to be able to spend that quality time together.

You talk about being intentional. Do you have examples of what kind of deliberate steps you're taking as a mother raising two kids in that vein of how to step back from technology?

Yeah, literally cutting it off, unplugging it from the wall, unplugging it from the charger, cutting it off. So earlier this year, in January, I finished reading a book called 246 the Power of Unplugging.

And essentially, it has inspired my practice of cutting off technology, turning off my telephone, staying away from screens for a full 24 hours, typically from Friday evening at sunset, and turning it back on either Saturday evening or early Sunday morning. And that has been really replenishing in a way that I didn't necessarily expect when I started it. Although I'm very much appreciative of it.

My children don't always join me intentionally in that disconnect. However, I have found that when I am disconnected, as is the case in other areas of life. Right. They follow your lead.

And so if I'm disconnected and I'm doing a puzzle, if I'm disconnected and I'm reading, they will. They will often follow my lead.

So how difficult was that, especially for you? In your line of work? Always being plugged in is just part of what you do, I would imagine.

So the first time you decided to intentionally take that on, like, what was your mindset and what was the initial reaction that you had to that?

Yeah, well, I was ready for it. I mean, I think it was a. It was a process that I came to over a certain period of time.

So I had, in the past, in hindsight, recognize the level of overwhelm that I was feeling with the line of work that I'm in, because I do a lot of social justice work, and then also the way of the world as it relates to politics and culture. And I knew that that was having an impact on my mental health. And at the time, I hadn't taken steps to necessarily address that.

But once I read the book 24:6, it became obvious that it was important. My husband also would often talk about wanting to just completely shut off social media just because of how triggering that can be, as.

So when I decided to make the step, I was ready for it. I didn't anticipate it being as challenging as it was.

I certainly learned how dependent I had become on my tech, Often sort of checking my pockets to find. To find my phone, while also fully recognizing that it was turned off and on a charger, but I was very much ready for that disconnect.

So when you talk about being overwhelmed, was there a specific tipping point?

Was there something you saw or read or specific, you know, activity or something that happened that said, you know, to you that this is it, I'm buying in, and this is going to be an Intentional act on my part starting this weekend.

Yeah, it was the most recent election. Actually. The most recent election, I think, was the tipping point.

I had gone through a process maybe about a year ago or so where I sat down and evaluated the things in my life at the time that were making me feel anxious, that were making me feel unhappy and ultimately unhappy, or, I'm sorry, unhealthy. And one of the things that I recognized was the political turmoil and the emotional challenge that I felt during the first Trump presidency.

There was also a lot of other things sort of happening in the world at that time as well, including a lot of racially motivated violence. And I realized that the way that I felt had a lot to do with the information that I was taking in.

And so now coming around to this, the, the current administration being back in office, and a lot of the changes that we're seeing across our cultural and political landscape, I knew I wanted to be more intentional and more purposeful in shielding myself, I think, from a lot of the noise that is, that is around us.

And I also think that as a communication strategist and a journalist, I wanted to make sure that I was taking, that I was creating space for myself to remain clear headed. Right.

And to be able to write and to be able to offer counsel and, and also to be able to parent in a way that wasn't where I wasn't being influenced by a lot of the negativity. So it was really a strategy to help me stay clear headed and to be able to offer counsel that felt balanced.

That is so interesting because on the one hand, we're talking about, you know, platforms and all of the ways and means that we can communicate and addressing that, but on the other hand, we're talking about the message that is being conveyed across those platforms. When it comes to kids, as you know, there's only so much we can shield them from, regardless of, you know, banning devices, etc.

When you talk about culture and the world, politics, society, where we are today, how do you reconcile the message and how that is, you know, how you treat that with your kids?

Yeah, I think, simply put, it would be encouraging them to stay curious and not just accept what they are reading or watching or seeing or hearing at face value.

I think whether it is from a parenting perspective or from a communications counseling perspective, you always need to be mindful of who is delivering the message, what their motive might be, what they're not saying. Right.

And so it's, it's, it's being aware of the fact that in Any communication in whatever channel it is that you're consuming it in, it's not giving you the full story. And so staying curious about what are the pieces that may be missing from this, and how is what I'm hearing or seeing intended to influence? Right.

Because all community, there's a purpose behind all communications, whether it is to influence you or persuade you to change the way that you think or to, you know, to encourage you to change your behavior. There is a motive. And so to be thoughtful about what might that be? What could that be?

So your kids are 11 and 9, so still quite young. You know, how would you say that your parenting approach has shifted? Has it?

As we've gone through all of these massive changes, really, in the last five years since the pandemic, you could, you know, easily argue, has that influenced the way that you're trying to raise your kids?

I don't think that it has changed. My parenting style hasn't changed. I would say that I have always felt as though I have a very strong internal compass.

I've always felt pretty confident in the choices and decisions that I've made as it relates to my parenting. Perhaps my career is a little different, but in parenting, I've always had that, like, strong internal compass.

I think one of the things that has become different in the last five years or so is just that my kids are getting older, and they are, in fact, very curious. And so I can provide them with some additional context to some of the things that they're hearing and kind of engage them in conversation as well.

And so to help them.

So one of the things that I enjoy about this age is understanding and watching how they formulate their own opinions, because as babies, a lot of the conversation is them sort of repeating what they hear from you or from other adults. But now they're at this really wonderful age where they're able to synthesize all the information that they're taking in and then share.

Share that with you in ways that are different than perhaps you might state them.

So what has changed is the ability to be able to engage them in those kinds of conversations and learn more about how they're thinking and then also sharing stories and information to inform further thinking on a particular topic or a particular issue.

And on that note, you have the advantage of being in that vein and in that industry of journalism and media and communications.

But for parents, where this is not their normal or comfort level at all, trying to engage their kids, what would you advise or offer to a parent in terms of tips that they might want to consider because this is an important topic, it can't be ignored. It is the way the world is working at the moment. And so how do you explain it in an age appropriate way to your child?

Yeah, so I would go back to the point that I made about curiosity and engaging your kids and their curiosity. I think one thing that's important to acknowledge is that parents, you don't have to feel as though you are the expert.

There's no expectation of every mother or every father being an expert on every geopolitical issue that's happening in the world. Right. That's. It's an unrealistic expectation for us to put on ourselves.

And so I think when engaging in conversations with kids about some of these bigger issues that are happening in the world, like ask them questions, what do they think, what have they seen, what have they heard, how to better understand how they're processing in that, processing that. And then I think it's also important to also acknowledge for yourself and then also with your kids that you don't have all the answers.

But if you stay curious, then you create space for yourself to learn and then also for your kids to learn.

I think that that's also an important message for kids to internalize as well, especially when they're in, you know, when they're school age, is that it's okay to not know the answer. Because learning if you know the answers, then you're not, then you're not learning. Right.

And so being comfortable saying that you don't know the answer, but that you're willing to look for the answer or you're willing to be curious to learn more, I think is really, really important. More so than trying to act or having this expectation that you already know.

So then what would you say to a parent who believes that ignoring it or not talking about these issues at all, let's say at the dinner table or in the car, is a strategy. And especially with kids so you know, the less they know, the better that kind of thing.

Like, do you believe we're at a point in the world where ignoring it just does more harm than good?

Absolutely. Ignoring it definitely does more harm than good.

Because the reality is that if you're not talking about it, they will hear about it from someone else and the messenger who's delivering that, that, that message, if it's not you, you don't have any ability to help shape their perception. You don't have the ability to help them understand what is true, what may be an exaggeration.

So by not Acknowledging or by not having conversations, you're essentially taking your hands off of the whee. You're on your own.

And I think it is our responsibility as parents and even adults, you know, so whether the, whether the young person that you're speaking with is a niece or a nephew or a grandchild or just someone in your community, it's our responsibility to be there and help kids understand the context that exists in the world to help them better navigate what they're experiencing today that will also ultimately help inform their decisions in the future.

Certainly central to this conversation is the concept of leadership and how leadership is being modeled by, you know, public figures across the world. It is a cause, a cause for concern for many people. How do you reconcile that reality with raising kids and, you know, raising your kids today?

Yeah, well, you know, the interesting thing is that we are growing children, little humans, in a world where decorum looks very different today than it may have years ago. My kids are 11 and 9, which I know is a little bit younger than perhaps some of the other parents that may be listening or watching.

But the current environment is all they know. Like they don't. They're just now starting to become aware of the political and cultural complexity that is life. So that's all they really know.

And I think the thing that for me is important for my kids to understand is that the people that they see on tv, whether they are entertainers or sports figures or politicians, they're not a special kind of people. They're not special people. They're just people doing a job, just like you and I are doing.

And so just like any other person, they may try really hard but still fail. They may work towards the greater good, or they may be more self interested. They may make choices that are less than ideal. They may lie.

That is part of the human experience.

And so as they're watching people on television or they're listening to things that other people are saying, understand that these are just everyday people like you and I. They're not perfect. We shouldn't expect for them to be perfect because at the end of the day, they are just human.

And I think it goes back to just focusing on what you can control as a parent and what your kid can control, which is ultimately just ourselves.

Like, we need to be responsible for the choices that we make as individuals and not base our behavior on what other people say or what other people are doing. We have to work and operate from what feels right to us in our core. Regardless of what, you know, they may hear someone say or see someone do.

When you're trying to operate, as you've described, in a very competitive world, in a. In a celebrity culture.

And when I say competitive, I'm also referring to other parents and other families and what they're doing, which, you know, often comes home through the kids. You know, Johnny's doing this and Betsy's doing that, et cetera, et cetera. Like, how do you counter that?

Especially because your kids are at that age where that is presumably happening.

Yeah, it is. It is definitely happening. And I think the way that I position it with my kids is different strokes for different folks, right?

Like, I'm not so and so's mother. I'm your mother.

There are different rules in different houses with different families, and what one family does doesn't have an impact on what we do in our house. Right. Every individual and every family has to be guided by their own set of values. And what they think is. Is right.

It doesn't mean that because they're doing something different means it's wrong. They're doing what they feel is best and right for them. And all that we can do is what we feel is best and right for us.

So while so and so may have a phone at 11 o'clock, we're not having. Or, I'm sorry, 11 o'clock at 11 8.

At 11 years old, you know, we're not going to implement that same policy because that doesn't align with what we think is important at this point in time. So different strokes for different folks, different rules for different families.

You've also had the really interesting experience of having lived both in Canada and the U.S.

and when we talk about the intersection of communications, culture, parenting, you know, what would you say are some of the main differences that you have noticed in the way that media shapes public perception?

Yeah, you know, I don't know that I noticed a big difference. I think media is influential.

Regardless of where you live, regardless of the city, the country, the state, the province, it is going to be influential. I think what is maybe different is the framing of the messages that you hear in the media.

So here in Quebec, a lot of the framing of the issues is based along the lines of language. Right. So francophone or Anglophones.

Whereas in the United States, the issues may be framed more from a racial standpoint or more from an economic standpoint, but across the board, media is media, and it will influence and persuade and try to shift behavior and thinking regardless of where you live.

Erin, I'm curious. Why do you believe it's important to Be actively engaged in the public discourse, regardless of all the things you've outlined.

You know, the overwhelm, the technology, the messaging, where we are in the world today, you still believe it's important to be actively engaged. Why?

Yeah, well, I see it as one. It is my profession, it is my passion, even. And.

And it is also my responsibility because I think that clear communication and the ability to persuade and influence is both a skill and a talent, and it would be irresponsible of me to not leverage that. Right. So I. If I think back to conversations with my son, I. I will often say that with great power comes great responsibility.

And so I use that as a way to help other people understand why I do the work that I do. Because it is a skill, it is a talent. I wield that power well, and so I want to use it effectively now.

You have in the past compared the chaos of parenting to the overwhelming deluge of information that we face daily through the very media that we're talking, talking about here. How do you personally navigate between staying informed and preserving your wellness and your, you know, mental clarity?

Yeah, it's about being aware of what triggers you, like being aware of how you feel.

So if you start to feel annoyed or frustrated or angry, acknowledging in the moment what it is that's triggering you and shutting it off, it's so simple.

But it's such an important message because if we can't do that as adults, we're never going to be able to teach our kids to do that. So, yes, it's a very important point.

The other piece, easy loop to get. I'm sorry, it's an easy loop to get caught in. Right. So there is science behind social media, right? In order to keep.

Keep you scrolling, in order to keep you moving from one article to the next. Because in our brains, we are rewarded, right, by that continual scrolling.

And so it's important to recognize that you have to take a moment for yourself. You have to be able to just be aware, right. Be aware of what is happening around you in the way that it makes you feel.

Well, and on the note of being aware, I mean, disinformation and misinformation, I think people have never had to work harder to discern what really the truth is than where we are today. You know, how do you go about navigating that?

And do you believe that generally we are becoming more resistant or are we more vulnerable to misinformation and disinformation?

Yeah, I think we're becoming more vulnerable, unfortunately.

I think with the Rise of artificial intelligence and the way people are using it to create and to manipulate media, it is becoming more and more difficult to understand what is real and what is not.

But that takes me back to the point that I made a little bit earlier about curiosity and recognizing that there are these technologies and sometimes there are bad actors that work to use those technologies, perhaps in ways that are less than beneficial for others. And acknowledging that, okay, well, if this makes me feel bad one particular way, why might that be? This might not be real.

Who is, where is it coming from? Right. Like, what is the message? What might the intended purpose be?

So, yeah, be curious, question things and don't just accept what is fed to you at face value because there is, you know, there's a motive behind everything, whether it is positive or negative.

In that same vein, parents certainly are key contributors, have a very critical role in shaping how our kids relationship ends up evolving with media. Right. In future years and generations.

So what are some intentional ways, Erin, that you would suggest to parents on how they can cultivate a culture of thoughtfulness and digital mindfulness?

Yeah, so I would suggest engaging in media together.

So whether you're watching television, whether you're scrolling Instagram reels, whether you are reading, you know, a book or a newspaper, is to invite your children into the process as well so that they, so that you get to see and hear the same things that they get to see and hear. And you're again, creating an opportunity for conversation, for discussion, to elevate or to perhaps challenge what it is that you're taking in.

And that practice will help you and also your children be more discerning in the information that they're taking in and being a little bit more curious and questioning.

So as we try to, you know, live through, endure the period that we're in of rapid cultural change, technological change, political shifts, what are some of the key values and habits that you hope to pass on to your children in terms of helping them be armed to navigate an uncertain future? Really?

Yeah. You know, I'm going to take it back to curiosity. Stay curious. Stay curious. Not just about the world around you, but also about yourself. Right.

Because I mentioned having felt like as a parent, I've had a strong internal compass.

And that has a lot to do with just trusting myself, trusting that when I am feeling uneasy, to be curious about why is that and try to understand the reason and then create changes, whether they're big or small, to shift how I'm feeling, to shift how I'm thinking and how you think and how you feel about things really impacts ultimately the outcomes that you will experience.

When you think about how you are trying to raise your kids today and look at how you were raised, are there any fundamental, major differences and if so, what do they look like?

I think the biggest difference between my children and how I was raised is that I'm home.

So I have worked from home for 16 years since before COVID made it the thing to do, which has afforded me the ability to engage with my children in a way that my mother did not have an opportunity to. So I was a latchkey kid.

I had my own piece, my home, I came home, my mother was still at work, she would come home, you know, a little bit later in the evening. Whereas my kids, I essentially greet them when they come off of the school bus every single day.

So that is, that is certainly a major, a major difference. Just the ability to spend more time with them. I chaired the board of their school, their daycare and their school for a number of years.

And you know, my parents never had an opportunity to do that because they didn't have the work life flexibility that I'm able to enjoy today.

Lots of really interesting insights and things to think about. Erin Neal, Cultural Strategist, Communications professional Thank you so much for your time and for your insight today.

Of course, it was a pleasure. Thank you so much for having me.

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