One of the biggest jobs you could ever have in life is to be a mother, but it’s also the one job that’s so consuming you will often – sadly – forget yourself in the hierarchy of your family. Being a mother is a full time, 24/7, endlessly demanding job. You are going to be pulled pillar to post between children and there is no clock off time.
We’re not really selling this gig, are we? Mothers will forget themselves in the quest to make sure that their children are comfortable. They’ll forget to eat, forget to brush their teeth and even forget applying face sunscreen despite having JUST applied it to their children. Mothers are always last on the list of priorities – there was a reason that Mother Bear had cold porridge, by the way! Self-care is so important for everyone but for mothers, it’s most important of all. So, with that in mind, here are some of the ways that mothers forget themselves, and how you can make a change.
1. Skipping meals. It’s easy to do. You’re busy creating meals and supervising eating times and doing dishes all at the same time. One of the easiest ways to avoid forgetting to eat is to eat with the kids. When you’re dishing up their plates of food, dish one up for yourself. You could also choose to meal prep on a weekend ready for a week or breakfasts or sandwiches.
2. Forgetting to exercise. You’re an exhausted mother, why put yourself through going to the gym, right? Well, exercise is a must for maintaining your physical and mental health. You might not have the energy for the gym, but you could swap driving the kids to school to walking. You could also extend your existing school run walk by taking a longer distance on the way home. You need regular exercise to boost your energy levels, so you need to find something you love!
3. Mothers ignore their sleep. Sleep deprivation was used as a form of torture during war time, so now you know why it’s so hard to spend so much time awake at night with a child after a very busy day! The problem is that you yourself need a sleep schedule because you could easily ignore your sleep needs in order to reclaim your time. So, set yourself a bedtime. Once the kids are in bed and the place is tidy, give yourself an hour of scrolling mindlessly or doing something fun, and then go to bed. You need as much sleep as you can snatch, but you need balance.
4. Ignoring medical needs. When was the last time you saw the dentist or you had your eyes tested? Mothers will often ignore their own health because they just don’t have the time to pay attention to it. Mothers will often focus on the health of their children and this oversight can lead to health issues developing. Mothers should try to schedule their own health checkups alongside their children. Make going to the dentist a family affair and you could easily help children to overcome any dental anxiety.
5. Overlooking mental health deterioration. Postnatal depression is always covered over and shushed, which means that there is not enough information out there on its impact. Mental health is so important and if you feel like you’re struggling in any way, asking for help is a must. You shouldn’t feel the pressure to keep it all together when you do not have to keep it together. Life can be scary and it’s okay to feel low – as long as you are getting support along the way.
6. Mothers avoid relaxing. Resting is productive. Resting is fun. Resting is necessary. Mothers will often avoid sitting still because they believe that they should be busy. Rest is a luxury for other people, but it’s important for mothers to manage their stress. Many mothers will avoid it, however, because they prioritize their families first.
7. Mothers get lonely – often. When you’re immersed in parenting, it’s very easy to ignore your social needs. Those social connections are so important, though, offering you emotional connectivity and support.
Mothers will always put themselves last and their children ahead of themselves. Sometimes, this is necessary, but that shouldn’t be that way forever. Instead of taking the weight of the world and motherhood onto your shoulders, share the load and find your village. Do what you can to find some balance and remember, before you were a mother, you were a person first.